This SUCKS! …and the many reasons why it does….or TL;DR

I often get asked if i ever liked working at all. Answer is yes, I did, at one time or another like my job. Sure, it had its moments, but I did like what I did.

I’ve tried to explain why the current job I have isn’t any fun at all. People believe that I’m just bitching to hear myself bitch. No, not true. What people do not understand is that working in a call center is a very special kind of hell. A hell that I promised I would never go back to when I was 18 and had my very first job. Except, 20 years later, I’m working in a fucking call center.

Giant, Epic FAIL.

At first, I was excited to simply have a job. I thought, after years of unemployment, this was a great way to break into a new career and start moving on up. What I didn’t realize is that IT help desks are the lowest of the low of all IT jobs.  You simply do not have enough skills to know certain programs well enough to be specialized, (unless it is Outlook) and that makes your skill set less than desirable.  You don’t believe me? Ask a hiring manager what they would do if they saw a Help Desk resume pass through their desk. If the candidate doesn’t have any certifications that indicate they might know a little more than HD troubleshooting, it’s going for one of two things: The trash can or another help desk position.  Yes, you’re basically pigeonholed, despite having to repeatedly tell people how to do their jobs on a daily basis .

Unless you’ve worked in a call center, you have no idea what goes on. Sure, you’ve called plenty, gotten customer service and have had varying experiences. Some call centers are overseas, some are in your company. One thing is for certain, you want that person on the other end, regardless of what they can or cannot do to fix your issue. Now.  Sometimes, we can. Other times, and often in the case of an in house IT call center, we can’t.  Allow me to highlight some of the things we are asked to do: (some requests might be paraphrased or translated for the snarkiest of us to easily understand)

1.  Can you submit {request} on my behalf so I can get out of doing it myself?

This one is my fav.  person would rather not do it, so instead, they call us. 

2. I don’t know what I’m doing with this program! 

Well, now. How did you manage to get this job? I suspect you were able to lie and say you had experience or your shiny college degree magically told the hiring manager you must have taken a class in it! Guess what? It’s Not our job to tell you how to do your job. Ask your supervisor or, better yet, I know how to actually use the program. You’re now fired. 

3. GET THIS FIXED RIGHT NOW…NO, RIGHT NOW….NO, TYPE ON YOUR LITTLE MACHINE, AND MAKE THIS WORK RIGHT NOW!!!!

No, the caps are intentional.  People will call and demand that we fix things right away, even if we ask basic Question to arrive at what might be the problem. They interrupt, tell us they’ve already done this, are generally rude and do not respond well when we try certain things. These are the people who we should be able to hang up on. They are usually unreasonable and treat us like lowly dogs. 

4. While I have you on the phone….I need you to tell me why I can’t do {insert a request that is either a blocked website due to company restrictions or looking at pr0n } ?

Sometimes it’s as mundane as “can you make sure that My search history *ISNT* deleted? sometimes they want to make Buxom Babes with Buxom Butts isn’t blocked. yes, that happens. People are that stupid. 

5.  Can you…walk me through this? I’m such a techno idiot! 

No, really…If you’re over age…55, you get a pass. But if you’re between 20-50, no, Fuck you. If you can do your job, you can expand your skill set to include a little more computer knowledge. Computers have been a huge part of the workforce for more than 30 years. You have NO EXCUSE. So…if you can’t do basic form filling, figure out how to get to a website or even log on to your computer, well…You’re Fired.  I’ll take your job and do it better, faster and more efficiently. Probably for less money, too! if you’re a recent college grad with your very first job and you think it’s “cute” to be “tech illiterate” you don’t deserve your job. I bet you 6 people with better skills will gladly take your place. 

 

Couple these every day examples with the fact that we are NOT measured by our skills, kindness or abilities. We are measured only by how many calls we can take. It’s often understaffed, so you end up doing the work of about three people.

So…try taking 50-60 calls of the above repetitive crap I outlined every day.  2-3 minute breaks on occasion and the fact that, chances are, your buddy in the next cube is not taking as many calls as you. Also,  keep in mind that while you do this, your opinion was once valued and you could run circles around most the yahoos who call, possibly doing their jobs faster and…better.  It’s not fun. It’s not awesome. and I’m through being “Grateful I have a job”  It’s time for me to move on and give someone else a chance to be “grateful.”

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